“Ollie” Irvine’s voice pulled me to the present, the disturbing past no MY disturbing past had began to haunt me.
“What?” I thought I sounded a bit abrupt but it didn’t seem to affect Irvine
“Your going to need a ride tonight, shall I pick you up??” he asked
I then remembered we hadn’t taken my car, “Oh sure, Thanks” then I realised we had parked outside my house I quickly go out and waved my goodbye to him before he had a chance to open his door.
Once inside the warm, familiar home I had with Amelia I felt relaxed if not a little tired knowing that if I slept I would only dream of my parents this time, not the beautiful distant meadow that I shared with my warrior. I paced, knowing that I would be infinitely better if I was to see him, I sighed, the thought of seeing him had won I made my way upstairs.
* * *
Azael
He was in his small rat infested room when he felt her, he could almost smell the scent of her skin, and he lay back closed his eyes and let her soul call him into her dreams.
When his eyes opened he was in a meadow, the meadow she loved filled with sunflowers nearly as tall as she was and there she stood, her heavy waist length black curls barely moved in the light breeze, she leant and smelt a sunflower that was next to her then she looked round, looking him. He smiled and walked towards her.
“Olive?” he felt there was something wrong before she even looked at him
She looked up from the flower and her exquisite eyes danced with love and she smiled before throwing her arms around his waist burying her face deep into his chest like she was trying to actually see his heart.
“What is wrong?!” he asked pulling her away from him so he could see her
“I was afraid I wouldn’t see you” her face reddened
“Don’t be silly Olive I felt you call me I will always come when you call me, what would make you think such a thing anyway?” he sat down and pulled her down onto his lap
“I was just thinking of my past, you know of my parents and I thought that I would dream of them instead of you” she was looking out at the meadow.
Azael stroked her hair and said soothing words to her as to keep the tears from falling but they did anyway, she turned to face him on her knees.
“Am I evil?” she asked squinting through the tears
He wanted to laugh Olivia was the furthest thing from evil he could think of.
“No, you are not evil.” He leant forward and kissed her soft full lips she kissed him back but quickly pulled away
“Why are you here?” she asked
“You called to me.” He answered simply
“You mean I dreamt you” her eyes piercing his resolve
“Yes, that is what I mean” he blinked away from her gaze
When he first started entering her dreams she allowed her to believe that he was not real just something to comfort her believing that it was the best thing for her not to know him not to have her life affected by him, yet again although whenever she woke and sent him away his body longed for her, arms aching to hold her, lips to hold her lips in an unbreakable hold.
Olivia stood up, and he followed he took her hand and pulled her toward the big old tree.
“What?” she smiled when they stopped at the tree
Azael grinned mischievously at her, “Let’s climb”
Olive looked down at her white linen summer dress that stopped just above her knees.
“I’m not really in the climbing tree clothing” she raised a sarcastic eyebrow
He laughed lightly “Olive do you know nothing of dreaming?”
She shook her head, he took her hand again and told her to close her eyes and think of the clothing she’d wear for climbing trees, when she opened them and looked down at herself, surprise crossed her face she had changed into a pair of jeans and a loose fitted t-shirt.
“I must admit Olive I do prefer you in jeans” he said admiringly as she started to climb
“Hey, this was your idea, get climbing” she frowned playfully at him
He did as she asked and began climbing after her, when they finally get to the top Olive’s black curls swirled in the wind up there as did Azael’s long black hair.
“I wish I didn’t have to go back, I’d much rather stay here with you!” Olive muttered just loud enough for Azael
“You can’t truly want that Olive.” He suddenly felt guilty about ever entering her dreams
With a sigh “No I wish that you were real so you could be with me.”
“You want that?”
“Of course I do!” Olive reached up and kissed him with the full force of her love for him and he felt that ripple through his body and linger in his system.
He sat straight up, still feeling the warmth of Olive in his body jumping up from the bed and running straight out of the door.
* * *
Olivia
After my dream of Azael I felt much more relaxed and went about getting ready for the studio opening, I pulled my curls up into a bundled bun on my head letting a few loose curls stray around my face, and started on my make up only putting a light layer of foundation on, a bit of eye liner, and put as much mascara I could get away with on as well as a deep red lip colour, I was all of a sudden feeling slightly nervous and excited I texted Irvine that I would leave the door open so that I had a little extra time to get into my dress.
At half seven Irvine shouted up the stairs that he was here before I’m guessing heading for the kitchen.
I stepped into my floor length, figure hugging, backless black dress, pulling it up and fixing the straps making sure it clung to the right places I bit my perfectly painted lips as I was unsure is I was looking ok but before I could change my mind and change my outfit I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs, Irvine came down the hall as I was stepping into my heels.
“Wow! Ollie you look…” he sighed sounding a little sad which made me look up.
“Wow yourself! You look great!” I touched his hair now flat and straight
"Well you know if I run into any sophisticated women I want to look the part don’t I!” he smiled as his eyes continued to asses me
“Lets go!” I rolled my eyes and headed out.
The studio was almost full by the time I got there my friend Lianne was already there and waved us over when Irvine and I arrived.
“Wow, Girl you be looking hott!” Lianne waved herself down
Lianne was of Jamaican decent and she was gorgeous she had long black-brown braids that she had put into a big thick plait her skin seemed to shimmer under the white dress she had picked her light brown eyes was so full of life that it made you happy to see, she was 5’6 a small size 8 but curved in all the right places I felt my confidence chip away.
Irvine disappeared to get us some drinks and let us talk; Lianne cocked an eyebrow at me.
“So you came with Irvine”
“No! He gave me a ride” I rolled my eyes
“Uh-huh I bet he did”
“Lianne stop it,” I laughed and looked round for Amelia, I frowned when I couldn’t see her, then Lianne elbowed me roughly in the ribs “Ouch, What?!” I turned back to her
“Who is that??!!!” She asked me in a hushed voice, I mentally rolled my eyes as the lust filled Lianne’s eyes and silently felt sorry for the guy who would be trying to peel her off him all night, I finally followed her gaze and I felt my heart stop and I took a staggered step forward and felt Lianne’s hand grab my arm “Nuh-huh he is mine” and I watched as Lianne sway her hips all the way over to him, I had to look away I couldn’t watch as my warrior flirt with my best friend.
Then it hit me, it was MY warrior My Azael, how was it even possible that he was here I turned round there he was looking directly at me smiling ignoring Lianne completely I stepped back catching my heel in the back of my dress tripping me up I closed my eyes preparing to get to hit the floor…
I didn’t, I felt the heat of his arms around me pulling me close to him, I inhaled his smell believing that I would wake up an he would be gone, his hand went to the back of my neck an I looked up at him instantly he crushed his lips against mine and I crushed mine back feeling the hardness of my lips against his I knew he was there an this wasn’t a dream an I let myself and my love melt into him and I felt the intensitly of our love together and it was not longer held by dreams it was real and I let it wash over me, I pulled away stoked his cheeks, they were wet with the escaped tears.
“Azael!” I whispered as his lips found mine again.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Preface/ Chapter one
Preface
I woke up in the arms of my warrior, his strong arms engulfed me in a gentle slumber embrace, long thick black hair spread around his head like a dark halo, the black eyes I know so well were closed and his expression was tranquil, I felt my heart swell with pride as my warrior, my past life love, the guy it seemed I was destined to spend all my lives with was lay here with me.
I leant and kissed him gently before slipping out of his warm hold and walked quietly to the bathroom.
"Olive?" he stirred
Hearing him say my name made my heart race and I was truly grateful that our battle was over and that he had picked me, I turned to see him sat up and his perfect cupid bow of a mouth was pulled up in a sleepy grin.
And I thanked God for my fallen angel.
Chapter one.
I woke up to the annoying beeping of my alarm, I quickly realised that it was just a dream and again I felt tears prick my eyes I grit my teeth and hit the alarm clock and pulled myself out my bed, it was Sunday and I just felt like leaving the pile of bed hair I could feel on the top of my head but wasn't planning to attack it anytime soon.
I threw on a pair of sweatpants and headed to the bathroom, I pulled the door on there was a yellow posted note stuck on it.
"Hey Sleepyhead,
I had to run to the studio (last minute disaster) if you manage to pull yourself out off bed before 12 get dressed and meet me for lunch? If not I'll see you at the opening at 8pm, OH please call Irvine what has he done? Love ya Amelia"
I sighed and bit my lip checking my alarm clock, 10am, before going into the bathroom and didn’t come out until I had calmed my bed head, I quickly pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a plain vest top and a grey hoodie. I studied myself in my bedroom mirror my long black loose curls framed my pale almost translucent skin that made my big moss green eyes stand out. I grabbed my bag and car keys and ran out the house and into my vintage 1969 mustang convertible in a blood red colour, it was11.30 before I got to the studio.My foster mum/Aunt Amelia was amazing, 35 and tiny 5f long naturally plantim blond hair that falls to her waist in beautiful loose curls, and the brightest sky blue eyes and was very much in the hippy frame of mind and in her dress sense, but it suited her. Although I completely contrasted in looks with my mid-back length black curls, my moss green eyes and pale completion but I think of Amelia as the mother I was meant to have she was amazingly talented with a camera and had just opened her own studio and was putting on an exhibit.
"Hey Abby," I waved at Amelia's assistant "is she in her office?" I asked not even paying attention to her nodding the reply
I had to smile at the sight of my child like aunt sat behind a grown up desk dwarfing her more, she looked up from her desk as I entered and smiled at me.
“Managed to pull yourself out of bed then??” she grinned
I rolled my eyes “Amelia just because you like to be up before the sun is out doesn’t me we all should be doing it too!”
Amelia cocked he head to the side “Well you should be its good for you, Have you called Irvine yet??”
I ignored the comment and asked about the last minute disaster.
“Oh it’s okay now! I sorted it out,” she jumped off her huge wicker chair and got her bag. “Shall we go for lunch??”
“If you want Mia, I was thinking I could run out and get us some pizzas and we’d set started on that decorating?” I offered calling by her nick-name, knowing that she'd need some help eventually
Amelia’s face lit up with a smile “That would be perfect” then started digging round in her bag and handed me some money and I left.
I was gone all of half an hour but obviously that was enough time for Amelia to get on the phone and invited Irvine round I entered with 2 boxes as Abby had gone out for lunch I sighed angrily as I saw Irvine up a ladder and Amelia hurried over too me.
“I did tell you I sorted the disaster out” she smiled sweetly at me, hearing a thud I looked up, Irvine smiled at me as he walked over to me, and Amelia took her pizza and wondered off back into her office saying she had calls to make. I sighed again.
“Hey” I forced a smile in Irvine’s direction as I looked at what he had been doing.
“Amelia called earlier and asked if I’d come help put up fairy lights up for her” he explained himself too me and I rolled my eyes I hated this.
Irvine and I had be dating for nearly a year but 7 weeks ago I started having my dreams and when I was with Irvine (as crazy as it may sound) I felt like I was cheating on the guy in my dreams, so I called time on my relationship with Irvine and know we where in that silly holding stage deciding if we could still be friends, which was even sillier when Irvine and myself had been friends since I had moved here just after my parents had passed, when I was 10 and he was 12.
“Hey you okay??” he asked breaking my chain of thought.
“Oh,” I looked up at him “Yeah I'm fine Irvine, Want some pizza?” I held out the box
“Its not got those nasty fish things on has it??” Irvine’s face screwed up as he remembered the one and only times I’d got him to try one
I laughed “No, I didn’t get anchovies today”
He took the box and we went and sat behind Abby’s desk and silence descended on us as we started eating.
After about 10 minutes Irvine groaned and stood up.
“What’s wrong?” I asked from my seat
“This is wrong,” he looked over to me with his amber coloured eyes looking sad “I don’t want to be awkward with you Ollie”
“Same here.” I added
Irvine came and sat next to me and placed a hand on my cheek, as much as it felt natural to me I moved away from his touch and saw the hurt look I caused AGAIN cross his face then he sighed “Ok, you’re my best friend Ollie and will always be okay??”
I nodded knowing that that was all I would offer him even if he was hoping for more.
“Then don’t shy away from my touch like I’m going to hurt you!” he pleaded
I sighed this time “You can’t touch me like I’m your girlfriend anymore then Irvine I don’t want to hurt you or confuse you anymore than I already have”
It was quiet for a moment then Irvine’s broad mouth split into his huge friendly smile and he punched my shoulder.
“Ouch” I yelped and rubbed my shoulder but smiled at him.
After we finished our pizza we got back to work, putting up fairy lights and putting out wicker tables and hiding them under big black table cloths for refreshments. Amelia had put up a picture of me she had taken a few months back without me knowing, I was sat on a bench in the park my legs tucked into my chest as my long black curls had fallen over one shoulder, totally exposing my face, I had a very morose look on my face I didn’t like that picture very much as I remember what I was thinking about on that day.
When I was ten my parents passed away, I was sent to live with my 28 year old aunt who had no idea how to raise a child let alone deal with the grief of losing her only family and my grief, I was remembering the day they passed. I had come in from school to find the both sitting on the sofa looking solemn, my mother didn’t even look at me, my father stood up and strode over to me in 3 long strides gripping my shoulder hard enough for me to cry out, I had been confused.
Where had my daddy gone? The happy smiling daddy who I knew loved me! Who was this daddy who was hurting me?!
He matched me to my room throwing me in and I fell to my knees and scraped them on the carpet I was crying when I looked up and saw the utter disgust in this daddy’s face then spat on the carpet in front of me.
“Demon Bitch” he said before slamming the door and locking it
I just sat there in total shock for nearly an hour, I was still crying as I stood up and went to check the door it was locked so I started banging on the door crying out for my mother I had carried on like this for 2 hours my knuckles had started to bleed.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I was woken by my mother shaking me cold detachment in her eyes as she peered down at me.
“Get up!” she pulled me up by my arm “Go downstairs” I moved quickly as the tone of my mothers voice was not one I had heard before
It smelt bad in the living room I now know the smell and can identify it as kerosene but the whole living room was drenched in it and that daddy was stood by the couch holding a lit candle.
“Olivia You cannot live” he said before dropping the candle, the screams started as my father was the 1st thing to catch a light but the flames spread quickly and as he screamed he came toward me trying to burn me up too, I managed to get out of my mothers hold and move before he got to me, he ran into my mother instead and his screaming got louder as I ran into the kitchen trying to get the back door open when I heard my mother scream my name in a pain filled wail….
The memory faded out and I was back in the studio with my Aunt and best friend and strangely I was lying on the floor as they where over me.
"What happened?” I said as I sat up
“Oh Olivia, Are you okay??” Amelia’s face contoured in a mask of worry and concern
“You passed out” Irvine whispered as Amelia rushed off to get me a glass of water
“I did??” I questioned as he nodded and helped me stand up
“Want me to take you home??” he asked as I swayed on my feet
“Please” I leant on him as we waited for Amelia.
I woke up in the arms of my warrior, his strong arms engulfed me in a gentle slumber embrace, long thick black hair spread around his head like a dark halo, the black eyes I know so well were closed and his expression was tranquil, I felt my heart swell with pride as my warrior, my past life love, the guy it seemed I was destined to spend all my lives with was lay here with me.
I leant and kissed him gently before slipping out of his warm hold and walked quietly to the bathroom.
"Olive?" he stirred
Hearing him say my name made my heart race and I was truly grateful that our battle was over and that he had picked me, I turned to see him sat up and his perfect cupid bow of a mouth was pulled up in a sleepy grin.
And I thanked God for my fallen angel.
Chapter one.
I woke up to the annoying beeping of my alarm, I quickly realised that it was just a dream and again I felt tears prick my eyes I grit my teeth and hit the alarm clock and pulled myself out my bed, it was Sunday and I just felt like leaving the pile of bed hair I could feel on the top of my head but wasn't planning to attack it anytime soon.
I threw on a pair of sweatpants and headed to the bathroom, I pulled the door on there was a yellow posted note stuck on it.
"Hey Sleepyhead,
I had to run to the studio (last minute disaster) if you manage to pull yourself out off bed before 12 get dressed and meet me for lunch? If not I'll see you at the opening at 8pm, OH please call Irvine what has he done? Love ya Amelia"
I sighed and bit my lip checking my alarm clock, 10am, before going into the bathroom and didn’t come out until I had calmed my bed head, I quickly pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a plain vest top and a grey hoodie. I studied myself in my bedroom mirror my long black loose curls framed my pale almost translucent skin that made my big moss green eyes stand out. I grabbed my bag and car keys and ran out the house and into my vintage 1969 mustang convertible in a blood red colour, it was11.30 before I got to the studio.My foster mum/Aunt Amelia was amazing, 35 and tiny 5f long naturally plantim blond hair that falls to her waist in beautiful loose curls, and the brightest sky blue eyes and was very much in the hippy frame of mind and in her dress sense, but it suited her. Although I completely contrasted in looks with my mid-back length black curls, my moss green eyes and pale completion but I think of Amelia as the mother I was meant to have she was amazingly talented with a camera and had just opened her own studio and was putting on an exhibit.
"Hey Abby," I waved at Amelia's assistant "is she in her office?" I asked not even paying attention to her nodding the reply
I had to smile at the sight of my child like aunt sat behind a grown up desk dwarfing her more, she looked up from her desk as I entered and smiled at me.
“Managed to pull yourself out of bed then??” she grinned
I rolled my eyes “Amelia just because you like to be up before the sun is out doesn’t me we all should be doing it too!”
Amelia cocked he head to the side “Well you should be its good for you, Have you called Irvine yet??”
I ignored the comment and asked about the last minute disaster.
“Oh it’s okay now! I sorted it out,” she jumped off her huge wicker chair and got her bag. “Shall we go for lunch??”
“If you want Mia, I was thinking I could run out and get us some pizzas and we’d set started on that decorating?” I offered calling by her nick-name, knowing that she'd need some help eventually
Amelia’s face lit up with a smile “That would be perfect” then started digging round in her bag and handed me some money and I left.
I was gone all of half an hour but obviously that was enough time for Amelia to get on the phone and invited Irvine round I entered with 2 boxes as Abby had gone out for lunch I sighed angrily as I saw Irvine up a ladder and Amelia hurried over too me.
“I did tell you I sorted the disaster out” she smiled sweetly at me, hearing a thud I looked up, Irvine smiled at me as he walked over to me, and Amelia took her pizza and wondered off back into her office saying she had calls to make. I sighed again.
“Hey” I forced a smile in Irvine’s direction as I looked at what he had been doing.
“Amelia called earlier and asked if I’d come help put up fairy lights up for her” he explained himself too me and I rolled my eyes I hated this.
Irvine and I had be dating for nearly a year but 7 weeks ago I started having my dreams and when I was with Irvine (as crazy as it may sound) I felt like I was cheating on the guy in my dreams, so I called time on my relationship with Irvine and know we where in that silly holding stage deciding if we could still be friends, which was even sillier when Irvine and myself had been friends since I had moved here just after my parents had passed, when I was 10 and he was 12.
“Hey you okay??” he asked breaking my chain of thought.
“Oh,” I looked up at him “Yeah I'm fine Irvine, Want some pizza?” I held out the box
“Its not got those nasty fish things on has it??” Irvine’s face screwed up as he remembered the one and only times I’d got him to try one
I laughed “No, I didn’t get anchovies today”
He took the box and we went and sat behind Abby’s desk and silence descended on us as we started eating.
After about 10 minutes Irvine groaned and stood up.
“What’s wrong?” I asked from my seat
“This is wrong,” he looked over to me with his amber coloured eyes looking sad “I don’t want to be awkward with you Ollie”
“Same here.” I added
Irvine came and sat next to me and placed a hand on my cheek, as much as it felt natural to me I moved away from his touch and saw the hurt look I caused AGAIN cross his face then he sighed “Ok, you’re my best friend Ollie and will always be okay??”
I nodded knowing that that was all I would offer him even if he was hoping for more.
“Then don’t shy away from my touch like I’m going to hurt you!” he pleaded
I sighed this time “You can’t touch me like I’m your girlfriend anymore then Irvine I don’t want to hurt you or confuse you anymore than I already have”
It was quiet for a moment then Irvine’s broad mouth split into his huge friendly smile and he punched my shoulder.
“Ouch” I yelped and rubbed my shoulder but smiled at him.
After we finished our pizza we got back to work, putting up fairy lights and putting out wicker tables and hiding them under big black table cloths for refreshments. Amelia had put up a picture of me she had taken a few months back without me knowing, I was sat on a bench in the park my legs tucked into my chest as my long black curls had fallen over one shoulder, totally exposing my face, I had a very morose look on my face I didn’t like that picture very much as I remember what I was thinking about on that day.
When I was ten my parents passed away, I was sent to live with my 28 year old aunt who had no idea how to raise a child let alone deal with the grief of losing her only family and my grief, I was remembering the day they passed. I had come in from school to find the both sitting on the sofa looking solemn, my mother didn’t even look at me, my father stood up and strode over to me in 3 long strides gripping my shoulder hard enough for me to cry out, I had been confused.
Where had my daddy gone? The happy smiling daddy who I knew loved me! Who was this daddy who was hurting me?!
He matched me to my room throwing me in and I fell to my knees and scraped them on the carpet I was crying when I looked up and saw the utter disgust in this daddy’s face then spat on the carpet in front of me.
“Demon Bitch” he said before slamming the door and locking it
I just sat there in total shock for nearly an hour, I was still crying as I stood up and went to check the door it was locked so I started banging on the door crying out for my mother I had carried on like this for 2 hours my knuckles had started to bleed.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I was woken by my mother shaking me cold detachment in her eyes as she peered down at me.
“Get up!” she pulled me up by my arm “Go downstairs” I moved quickly as the tone of my mothers voice was not one I had heard before
It smelt bad in the living room I now know the smell and can identify it as kerosene but the whole living room was drenched in it and that daddy was stood by the couch holding a lit candle.
“Olivia You cannot live” he said before dropping the candle, the screams started as my father was the 1st thing to catch a light but the flames spread quickly and as he screamed he came toward me trying to burn me up too, I managed to get out of my mothers hold and move before he got to me, he ran into my mother instead and his screaming got louder as I ran into the kitchen trying to get the back door open when I heard my mother scream my name in a pain filled wail….
The memory faded out and I was back in the studio with my Aunt and best friend and strangely I was lying on the floor as they where over me.
"What happened?” I said as I sat up
“Oh Olivia, Are you okay??” Amelia’s face contoured in a mask of worry and concern
“You passed out” Irvine whispered as Amelia rushed off to get me a glass of water
“I did??” I questioned as he nodded and helped me stand up
“Want me to take you home??” he asked as I swayed on my feet
“Please” I leant on him as we waited for Amelia.
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